Let's work together against bullying and help bring the teen suicide rate down to zero

Bullycide Struck New Year’s Morning: Rest In Peace Jeffrey Patrick Fehr

with 5 comments

It’s painful having to document so many teen suicides.  However, unless we’re constantly confronted with the shear enormity of the situation, the fear is that people will again become complacent.  We can not afford to let that happen.  Not now.  Not ever.jeffrey patrick fehrIn the wee hours of New Year’s morning, when folks were winding down from their New Year’s Eve celebration of whatever form it was, 18-year-old Jeffrey Patrick Fehr ended his life of turmoil.  According to his family, Jeffrey had been bullied since the sixth grade because of his sexuality.  It only got worse in high school as Jeffrey excelled on the school’s cheerleading squad.r-JEFFREY-FEHR-large570Off to college, and out-of-the-closet, Jeffrey met a young affair of the heart who lived some distance away.  He apparently went to spend the holiday with his new heartthrob, but that ended in a breakup.  Alone, he drove back to Granite Bay.  While others were preparing their celebrations, Jeffrey was plotting his last moments.

Left unanswered forever, of course, is what was Jeffrey’s breaking point?  Was it the breakup?  Was it the years of taunting and bullying?  Those questions will haunt his family and friends for many years to come.

Here’s what IS known:  the LGBT community has lost yet another rising star.  Jeffrey’s friends have lost one of their own, as well.  And, his family is now carrying the heavy burden of picking up the pieces of his suicide while trying to make sense of it all.  No family should have to do that.  It’s been said here, as well as many other places, too many times already; however, it bears repeating again and again and again until we begin to see a noticeable change.  A change in this mean-spirited culture which breeds a climate that makes it ok, even acceptable, for people to taunt, berate, and attack other who they perceive as different.  A change in the verbiage of our leaders, from the schools to local government to the state level, and all the way up to the national players.  Their hatred and intolerance breeds the ignorance that fosters a climate that allows this type of behavior to flourish.  And, from that ignorance, we’re losing young life after young life to the mournful fate of suicide.  Bullycide.  And, here’s my point:  it will begin to end when enough of us make enough noise to enough people and make it crystal clear that this is absolutely no longer acceptable.  There truly is power in numbers.  With effort, every single one of us can make the difference that is needed to end this black mark on our society.

Rest in peace, Jeffrey Patrick Fehr.  So sorry to see you go.


5 Responses

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  1. people really need to think twice before saying anything, sometimes you might not think it is negative but the person you are talking to might think that way


    September 9, 2012 at 3:24 am

  2. This is my nieces high school. Both were in band so they travelled all the time with the football and cheerleaders. I don’t kno the extent of their relationship but they would have known him for sure. He killed himself by hanging. You can black that out. But if that is NOT how young Jeffery died, then there is another at Granite Bay HS. I remember sitting with my sister waiting for the kids to grab their bags, etc. She got a page she works at the school district so they page empl. Asap to prepare them for the kids. And I just remember her saying SHIT!! so &so hung himself this weekend. This really and truly is pervasive…. Poor Jeffery Patrick!!!!


    January 2, 2013 at 10:15 am

  3. I can only hope that the bullies loved ones die this way…


    January 3, 2013 at 6:45 am

  4. Rest in peace, Jeffrey. I am so sorry your life ended as it did. You didn’t deserve to be a target. You didn’t deserve to be driven to the point if despair just for being who you are. I pray that some good can come of this as your tragic end can be the beginning if greater understanding and compassion between people. If we can salvage something meaningful from this needless tragedy, then your death shall not be in vain.


    January 3, 2013 at 8:26 am

  5. thank you for this post. jeffrey was my nephew. a sweet, kind, gentle loving young man. a gay man who was brave enough to come out to family and friends in 10th grade and to be loved and accepted unconditionally by his family and friends. no family should have to endure this continuous pain and sadness of loss. jeffrey was a vibrant bright spot in the lives of so many. hanging himself must have seemed like the only way out after years and years of torment mixed with so much love from so many. especially his parents and two brothers. we must all be more compassionate and accepting. more outwardly loving. and remember that words cut deeper than actions. yet actions also hurt. may you rest in eternal peace jeffrey.


    March 17, 2013 at 8:54 pm

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