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Posts Tagged ‘primghar Iowa

Kenneth Weishuhn’s Wish: Be Buddies, Not Bullies

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I’ve had the honor of befriending and talking to one of Kenneth Weishuhn’s uncles since his tragic and untimely death on last Saturday.  There’s another uncle who’s a member on the facebook blog page now, as well.  Yesterday, Kenneth’s lovely older sister, Kayla, released this very powerful and emotional video as a tribute to her brother’s life.  I’m left with this:  what an amazing, caring, loving, beautiful family he had.  And, it reflected in him.  In every picture I’ve seen of Kenneth, he was happy, he was engaging, he was warm.  To think that “they” snatched that away from him is beyond comprehension.

One thing that sticks out and reverberates in my mind in this video is Kayla, talking directly to the ones responsible for Kenneth’s feeling of hopelessness, saying “I forgive you….”  Wrap your mind around the amount of strength and courage it took for a high school sophomore to say that to someone(s) who may as well have held a gun to her brother’s head and pulled the trigger.  I think it speaks to the foundation that both Kayla and Kenneth were raised in.  I’m not really sure that I would be able to utter those words to the people who were responsible for pushing my younger brother, whom I loved dearly, to and over the edge.  At least, not just yet.  She did.

I read it somewhere, when this event first unfolded, and now I’ve heard Kayla say it:  Kenneth’s mantra was “be buddies, not bullies”.  Such a simple message.  Yet, obviously, it’s such a difficult message to get across.  It takes effort to be an ass.  It takes effort to be hateful and mean.  These aren’t things that come naturally.  Loving and caring are natural, innate emotions.  Unfortunately, these people have been so indoctrinated with vile, hatred, and intolerance, so programmed by the religious culture in which they live in that region, just the opposite is true for them.  Intolerance comes natural for them.  They’ve been taught that.  Lashing out against someone who’s perceived to be different from them is their norm.  They’ve been taught that.  Hating someone because that person’s life goes against their religious teaching makes sense to them.  They’ve been taught that, as well.

See, it’s been said many times, and I’ve alluded to it here, myself:  the bullies, themselves, are but teenagers.  Young minds.  The difference in when someone says it to me and when I say it is this:  people want to give these kids a free pass for their actions, even when it leads to the suicide of another human being!!!  To wit, a reader just posted this comment on a blog entry about 15-year-old Grace McComas, who was bullied into suicide days before Kenneth:

My child, too, was bullied at Glenelg. I am appalled at the lack of response on the part of the school. I have heard, though, that anyone who says anything to Grace’s bully will be suspended on the spot. Why weren’t her bullies suspended? Seems to me the bully is getting more protection than Grace did. Schindler needs to go.

“…anyone who says anything to Grace’s bully will be suspended on the spot.”  Wait!  They know who this person is!?  And, now, this person is being protected?  Where was that protection for Grace?  For Tristan?  For Kenneth!?  When these young people cried out for help, where was that protection!?  Would you bet your year’s salary that if that same protection would’ve been afforded to Grace or Kenneth, they’d still be alive today?  If someone had offered this level of protection for Tristan, she would’ve be fighting for her life right now?

See, when I allude to the fact that these bullies are but teens, themselves, it’s done in the context of they have to have been taught this level of hatred and intolerance.  Pay attention to the details of what some of these bullies do to these victims.  Their actions are reprehensible and repugnant.  And, quite obviously dangerous.  I mean, how does a teen hate at such a level that they start a facebook page about their hatred for gays?  Where do they learn to hate at such a level that they’re calling up and leaving death threats!?  Death threats!  Yes, these are just teens!!!!  Which means that there are some really vile and dangerous adults in their lives.  They aren’t born hating like this.  They.  Are.  Taught.

Kenneth’s message is so much easier to teach.  “Be buddies, not bullies.”  I wouldn’t be writing about him right now if more adults in his region were teaching their young teens rather than who and how to hate.

Kenneth James Weishuhn, 14: Death by Suicide in Iowa

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Last night, Saturday, April 14th, 14-year-old Kenneth James Weishuhn, of Primghar, Iowa, succumbed to the bullying he’d been receiving since coming out as an LGBT teen back in a couple short months ago.  In looking at the few pictures of Kenneth I’ve been able to see online, he was a very happy young man.  Handsome and full of life.  In talking to some of his friends and family tonight, they confirmed just that.  More than that, though, they expressed how much he was loved by them.Kenneth-James-Weishuhn-Jr.Unfortunately, coming out of the closet cost him his young life.  The bullying was relentless and severe to the point where he couldn’t take it any longer.  No one, and I mean no one should have to sacrifice their life simply because of who they are.  Yet, we’re seeing it happen over and over and over again.  The question that’s begging to be answered is “how many more teen suicides do we have to endure before everybody realizes that we have an enormous problem on our hands?”  How many more parents have to endure the pain of having to bury their teenaged child because he or she were bullied to break point before the politicians, school administrators, religious leaders become proactive and stop treating this as a mere annoyance?  The people I talked to tonight are in real pain.   Some were crying real tears.  This is a very real problem, one that needs a very real solution.  And, the attention given to it needs to be immediate.

It’s not enough to say “the ones who bullied him to a point where he took his life will have to live with that for the rest of their lives.”  That’s true.  However, there’s two problems with that:  1.) if they were cold-hearted enough to do this in the first place, chances are they’re not going to lose much sleep over the fact that their actions caused someone to end their life; and, 2.) the families and friends of the victim also has to live with the bully’s actions for rest of their lives.  And, that’s unacceptable.Kenneth Weishuhn2Two of Kenneth’s friends, Kristi and Brandi, made a youtube video in tribute to their gone-too-soon friend.  It moved me to tears.  He truly seemed to be a very happy teen, and the love he had surrounding him was apparent.  Unfortunately, however, it wasn’t enough to overcome the brutal bullying he had to endure.

We can no longer afford to wait for our “leaders” to come to a solution with this issue.  Too many lives are being lost.  I’ve written about 3 in the past 9 days!  And, believe this:  for the three I’ve written about, there are at least three more somewhere around the world that I don’t know about.  Yet, our leaders are treating a 5-alarm blaze like a brush fire.  It’s time…it’s past time!!!…for every concerned citizen, young or old, black or white, gay or straight, Christian or atheist to do their part in bringing this sad chapter to an abrupt end.

  • Let the politicians know that it’s not okay that they are putting their political/religious views before these young people’s lives;
  • Let the hateful “religious leaders” know that it is not acceptable that they spew utter hatred in towards members of the LGBT community God’s name.  Hate speech is NOT freedom of speech;
  • Let the school administrators know that it’s not acceptable that the bullying epidemic runs rampant in today’s school, that they are required to protect every single student in their charge, all-inclusive;
  • Let the young people in your lives, directly or indirectly, know that it’s okay to let someone know when they’re being bullied.  In fact, it’s expected of them.  If one person doesn’t listen, go to another.  Repeat that process until they find someone who will listen and take action.

It’s going to take every single one of us, the everyday Joe, the concerned citizen, to bring about the changes that will rid our society once and for all of the bullying and teen suicides.  Sadly, all of our efforts won’t bring back Kenneth James Weishuhn.  We lost him last night because someone felt it was okay to bully him until he broke.  It wasn’t okay.

There’s a facebook page in Kenneth’s memory.  Take the time out to express your condolences and thoughts.  Also, I’ve been told that there is a fund set up to help his family bury him.  As soon as I have a link for that, I will pass it along.

I can’t express enough to the family and friends of Kenneth how sorry I am for your loss.  I can only say that my heart goes out to you.  To you, Kenneth James Weishuhn, rest in peace.  They can’t hurt you now.Kenneth Weishuhn