Kenneth Weishuhn’s Wish: Be Buddies, Not Bullies

I’ve had the honor of befriending and talking to one of Kenneth Weishuhn’s uncles since his tragic and untimely death on last Saturday.  There’s another uncle who’s a member on the facebook blog page now, as well.  Yesterday, Kenneth’s lovely older sister, Kayla, released this very powerful and emotional video as a tribute to her brother’s life.  I’m left with this:  what an amazing, caring, loving, beautiful family he had.  And, it reflected in him.  In every picture I’ve seen of Kenneth, he was happy, he was engaging, he was warm.  To think that “they” snatched that away from him is beyond comprehension.

One thing that sticks out and reverberates in my mind in this video is Kayla, talking directly to the ones responsible for Kenneth’s feeling of hopelessness, saying “I forgive you….”  Wrap your mind around the amount of strength and courage it took for a high school sophomore to say that to someone(s) who may as well have held a gun to her brother’s head and pulled the trigger.  I think it speaks to the foundation that both Kayla and Kenneth were raised in.  I’m not really sure that I would be able to utter those words to the people who were responsible for pushing my younger brother, whom I loved dearly, to and over the edge.  At least, not just yet.  She did.

I read it somewhere, when this event first unfolded, and now I’ve heard Kayla say it:  Kenneth’s mantra was “be buddies, not bullies”.  Such a simple message.  Yet, obviously, it’s such a difficult message to get across.  It takes effort to be an ass.  It takes effort to be hateful and mean.  These aren’t things that come naturally.  Loving and caring are natural, innate emotions.  Unfortunately, these people have been so indoctrinated with vile, hatred, and intolerance, so programmed by the religious culture in which they live in that region, just the opposite is true for them.  Intolerance comes natural for them.  They’ve been taught that.  Lashing out against someone who’s perceived to be different from them is their norm.  They’ve been taught that.  Hating someone because that person’s life goes against their religious teaching makes sense to them.  They’ve been taught that, as well.

See, it’s been said many times, and I’ve alluded to it here, myself:  the bullies, themselves, are but teenagers.  Young minds.  The difference in when someone says it to me and when I say it is this:  people want to give these kids a free pass for their actions, even when it leads to the suicide of another human being!!!  To wit, a reader just posted this comment on a blog entry about 15-year-old Grace McComas, who was bullied into suicide days before Kenneth:

My child, too, was bullied at Glenelg. I am appalled at the lack of response on the part of the school. I have heard, though, that anyone who says anything to Grace’s bully will be suspended on the spot. Why weren’t her bullies suspended? Seems to me the bully is getting more protection than Grace did. Schindler needs to go.

“…anyone who says anything to Grace’s bully will be suspended on the spot.”  Wait!  They know who this person is!?  And, now, this person is being protected?  Where was that protection for Grace?  For Tristan?  For Kenneth!?  When these young people cried out for help, where was that protection!?  Would you bet your year’s salary that if that same protection would’ve been afforded to Grace or Kenneth, they’d still be alive today?  If someone had offered this level of protection for Tristan, she would’ve be fighting for her life right now?

See, when I allude to the fact that these bullies are but teens, themselves, it’s done in the context of they have to have been taught this level of hatred and intolerance.  Pay attention to the details of what some of these bullies do to these victims.  Their actions are reprehensible and repugnant.  And, quite obviously dangerous.  I mean, how does a teen hate at such a level that they start a facebook page about their hatred for gays?  Where do they learn to hate at such a level that they’re calling up and leaving death threats!?  Death threats!  Yes, these are just teens!!!!  Which means that there are some really vile and dangerous adults in their lives.  They aren’t born hating like this.  They.  Are.  Taught.

Kenneth’s message is so much easier to teach.  “Be buddies, not bullies.”  I wouldn’t be writing about him right now if more adults in his region were teaching their young teens rather than who and how to hate.

Victoria Tristan Roxas Alora, 15, Bullied to Death

This just came across the online site, TrevorSpace, tonight:  15-year-old Victoria Tristan Roxas Alora, from Bakersfield, ended her life tonight after being bullied because she was a lesbian.

According to Brett Simpson, who contributed heavily to this article, Tristan (which was the name she went by) joined TrevorSpace, an online site for LGBT youth, just this March.  Her profile was promising:

I’m Tristan. Im Fillipino! Haven’t “Technically” came out yet. Just tired of lying and covering it up. So I just tell ppl, I’m pretty easy going, I’m bisexual. I believe that it doesn’t matter who you are, If you love somebody, or If they have a good personality, It shouldn’t matter if you’re guy or girl.  I love robotics.  I plan to go to MIT, I am in love with KPOP!  I am a busy person.
My favorite saying is:  Dont Be Afraid Of Shadows.  It only means Light is near!
<33
I hate it when I’m in love cus I fall too hard. I’m Catholic.  I am strong in my faith. Music is my life. I’m Asian. I play many instruments, I do MMA, Mostly TKD, JuiJitsu, and Kickboxing.  I’m a huge tomboy! I don’t agree with bullying
I am constantly bullied everyday just because I’m “Gay”
I’m real friendly & Straight forward, so feel free to message me anytime,
I’ll practically answer anything,
HMU!

That’s so heartbreaking in its honesty and hopefulness.  Dammit!  Tristan didn’t want to die!!!  Tristan had high hopes for her life.  Unfortunately, because people couldn’t or wouldn’t leave her alone to live her life, and because there was no adult she could turn to for help, she saw no way out.  Tonight, she took matters into her own hands and ended the bullying.

Subject: I hate my life with a passion.
Sent: Today 6:46 PM
Message: I hate my life,
I’m constantly bullied,
Today some guy I know named Casey called me out cus I got something in my eye almost the same time a girl had to use the bathroom. When I told him to shutup cus he was making fun of me more he told me to suck his d***. I told him “uhmm no thank you”.  He said yeah cus your afraid of d***.” I told him just cus I can get more girls then he can doesn’t make it right to pick on me. He ended up stating that I have bad shoes and clothes. I have a girl at the school I go to named Zarea.  She pushes me against lockers, pushes my head down from behind, and once she took me by my hair and threw me down. I am sick and tired of this and the school isn’t doing crap about it. When I told the first time, they only got talked to, and then it got worse. Then, when I told the school it got worse, they said unfortunately that happens. THEY DON’T DO ANYTHING! When I fight back I get csp (Suspension) When I leave the school until i feel strong enough to come back, it gets even worse. I already tried to commit suicide once, but it’s starting to sound real good right now.

So, there you have it, in her own words.  She posted this just tonight.  When she tried to reach the school officials about the bullying, they did nothing.  They did nothing!  Now, she’s gone.  Listen, these suicides are preventable, dammit!  There is no reason I should have to writing about Tristan right now!  She was full of life, had big dreams.  She was failed by the adults, doomed by the bullies in her life.  That is an atrocity!

I don’t want to hear one more person saying that they think it’s “absolutely absurd” that the school officials can’t make a difference or make this end.  If a student is reaching out to them, it’s their responsibility to provide protection for that student!  End of story.  The fact of the matter is this:  we are failing our young people, gay and straight, in grand fashion.

It’s been suggested several times that the young people who are being bullied needs to learn to defend themselves, perhaps through martial arts.  That’s reasonable enough.  On a purely logical level, it even makes sense.  What’s not being fully understood, I believe, is that the bullying that is occurring today cuts to a very deep, emotional level.  Martial arts can’t solve that.  Tristan was a MMA student.  She knew how to defend herself, physically.  What she couldn’t do was defend against the constant emotional attacks.  Worse, there were no adults willing to help her deal with it.

I’m going to spell this out as plainly as I can:  we need to stop trying to rationalize, and intellectualize, what’s going on with today’s LGBT youth.  Period.  The hard cold fact is they are being bullied to a point where they feel the only way to stop it is to end their lives.  That is not acceptable.  Someone needs to be held accountable.  The message that’s being sent to the LGBT teens is “we don’t care that you’re being bullied.”  And, that is not acceptable.  Yes, it needs to start in the homes.  Yes, we need to re-educate the adults first and foremost.  But, most importantly, we need to reach out to these at-risk young people and let them know that there are people who care…that life will get better.  WE need to be the change that we want to see!!

I, for one, want to go on record right here and now for letting them know that there ARE people who care!  There ARE people here waiting to reach out to you!  You life IS worth living, and you DO matter!!  Who’s with me?  Here’s your challenge:  starting this very day, make it a point to reach out to someone you DON’T know.  Sometimes, even a simple smile and hello could be the difference between life and death.  Don’t talk about doing it:  just do it.  Your life is not that busy that you can’t take just a few minutes out of your day to reach out to someone.  Tonight makes 5 teen suicides that we know about in the past 11 days.  All 5 were from bullying!  I’m deeply saddened, but I’m also seething.  Much, much more needs to be done.

Tristan, I’m so sorry we failed you.  You had such a bright future.  May you rest in peace.

Kenneth James Weishuhn, 14: Death by Suicide in Iowa

Last night, Saturday, April 14th, 14-year-old Kenneth James Weishuhn, of Primghar, Iowa, succumbed to the bullying he’d been receiving since coming out as an LGBT teen back in a couple short months ago.  In looking at the few pictures of Kenneth I’ve been able to see online, he was a very happy young man.  Handsome and full of life.  In talking to some of his friends and family tonight, they confirmed just that.  More than that, though, they expressed how much he was loved by them.Unfortunately, coming out of the closet cost him his young life.  The bullying was relentless and severe to the point where he couldn’t take it any longer.  No one, and I mean no one should have to sacrifice their life simply because of who they are.  Yet, we’re seeing it happen over and over and over again.  The question that’s begging to be answered is “how many more teen suicides do we have to endure before everybody realizes that we have an enormous problem on our hands?”  How many more parents have to endure the pain of having to bury their teenaged child because he or she were bullied to break point before the politicians, school administrators, religious leaders become proactive and stop treating this as a mere annoyance?  The people I talked to tonight are in real pain.   Some were crying real tears.  This is a very real problem, one that needs a very real solution.  And, the attention given to it needs to be immediate.

It’s not enough to say “the ones who bullied him to a point where he took his life will have to live with that for the rest of their lives.”  That’s true.  However, there’s two problems with that:  1.) if they were cold-hearted enough to do this in the first place, chances are they’re not going to lose much sleep over the fact that their actions caused someone to end their life; and, 2.) the families and friends of the victim also has to live with the bully’s actions for rest of their lives.  And, that’s unacceptable.Two of Kenneth’s friends, Kristi and Brandi, made a youtube video in tribute to their gone-too-soon friend.  It moved me to tears.  He truly seemed to be a very happy teen, and the love he had surrounding him was apparent.  Unfortunately, however, it wasn’t enough to overcome the brutal bullying he had to endure.

We can no longer afford to wait for our “leaders” to come to a solution with this issue.  Too many lives are being lost.  I’ve written about 3 in the past 9 days!  And, believe this:  for the three I’ve written about, there are at least three more somewhere around the world that I don’t know about.  Yet, our leaders are treating a 5-alarm blaze like a brush fire.  It’s time…it’s past time!!!…for every concerned citizen, young or old, black or white, gay or straight, Christian or atheist to do their part in bringing this sad chapter to an abrupt end.

• Let the politicians know that it’s not okay that they are putting their political/religious views before these young people’s lives;
• Let the hateful “religious leaders” know that it is not acceptable that they spew utter hatred in towards members of the LGBT community God’s name.  Hate speech is NOT freedom of speech;
• Let the school administrators know that it’s not acceptable that the bullying epidemic runs rampant in today’s school, that they are required to protect every single student in their charge, all-inclusive;
• Let the young people in your lives, directly or indirectly, know that it’s okay to let someone know when they’re being bullied.  In fact, it’s expected of them.  If one person doesn’t listen, go to another.  Repeat that process until they find someone who will listen and take action.

It’s going to take every single one of us, the everyday Joe, the concerned citizen, to bring about the changes that will rid our society once and for all of the bullying and teen suicides.  Sadly, all of our efforts won’t bring back Kenneth James Weishuhn.  We lost him last night because someone felt it was okay to bully him until he broke.  It wasn’t okay.

There’s a facebook page in Kenneth’s memory.  Take the time out to express your condolences and thoughts.  Also, I’ve been told that there is a fund set up to help his family bury him.  As soon as I have a link for that, I will pass it along.

I can’t express enough to the family and friends of Kenneth how sorry I am for your loss.  I can only say that my heart goes out to you.  To you, Kenneth James Weishuhn, rest in peace.  They can’t hurt you now.

Kenny Wolf, 14: Bullying Claims Yet Another Life

When it hits this close to home, it’s really painful for me to think about.  According to information just received, Kenny Wolf, a 14-year-old freshman at Olde Mill High School in Maryland, successfully attempted suicide yesterday, Thursday April 5th.  According to a memorial page set up on the popular teen site, tumblr, Kenny had been constantly bullied because of being an LGBT teen.

The information hit me like a Mack truck.  I lived in that neighborhood for a while.  When I saw his facebook picture, taken just the day before his suicide, I just wept.  No, I didn’t know him.  I lived there when he was just 6 or 7 years old.  I didn’t need to know him, though.  I know that he was another teen, just trying to become, but because of other people’s hostilities, is now gone forever.

I don’t think it can be said enough that this whole epidemic of bullying has to be met head-on, and dealt with as seriously as any other epidemic that hits our society.  It was said that “if teens were dying at this rate because of a medical outbreak, everyone would be in a panic.”  I agree.  As such, the same intensity has to be applied to the problem of bullying, and the suicides that it’s leading to.

The more I learn, though, the more I realize that it could be easier said than done at this point-in-time.  Why?  Well, where do we start?  The easy answer would be to hold these young people accountable for the consequences of their bullying.  And, I believe that to be true.  If they knew, without a doubt, that their bullying would lead to severe consequences especially in cases where it led to suicides, they would think twice before doing it.  After all, if those same kids were to take a weapon to school and physically harmed or killed another student, wouldn’t they be charged for a crime?  And, depending on the severity of the outcome, they would potentially be charged as an adult.  What, then, is the difference between that action and bullying someone to a point where he or she ends their life?  On a real core level, especially to the family and friends of the victim, there is no difference.  In either case, their loved one is gone forever.  However, that’s the easy answer.  Our society, especially in this country, already has a lock-’em-up-and-throw-away-the-key mentality.  It doesn’t “cure” a thing.  And, it doesn’t bring anyone back.

The long-term solution absolutely has to be a re-education of our culture beginning with the adults.  Once again, I will say that these young people aren’t born to hate, discriminate, or be intolerance.  They.  Are.  Taught.  They are taught, either directly or indirectly, by adults.  Listen to the rhetoric from the extremist’s corner.  Watch, again, what a “pastor” “preaches” to his “congregation” about the LGBT community.  These are the people who tell the young bullies, either directly or indirectly, that it’s ok to treat LGBT teens, real or perceived, as mean as they want to.  These extremists send the signal that even physical harm is acceptable when it comes to LGBT teens.  And, that is what has to be addressed quickly, and severely.  Forget their claims of freedom of speech.  Freedom of speech does not include hate speech.  Their idea of “freedom of speech” is costing lives and destroying families.  That is not acceptable.  Not anymore.

Kenny has been gone for just over 24 hours, so his family and friends are still raw with unimaginable pain.  Send them lots of love and support.  And, prayers.  And, while you’re praying to a God that loves, pray that He works on the hearts and souls of the people, young and old, who spread harmful hatred and intolerance.  It’s time for a change.  Rest in peace, Kenny.  No one can harm you now.

I’d Be Ashamed

If I were a regular, church-going Christian, I’d be ashamed.  Hell, I’m not a regular, church-going Christian, and I’m still ashamed.  I’m ashamed and appalled.  I’m ashamed that there are people like this Arizona “pastor”, Steven Anderson, representing himself as a religious leader while spewing pure, absolute hatred.  Bitter hatred.  Violence-laden hatred.
[for the record, let me say that whereas I’m not a “regular, church-going Christian”, I do strongly and fully believe in God.]

This video surfaced today on the facebook blog page and is a must-see.  It’s a must-see for anyone who wonders why so many of my recent posts have been about the far-right “religious” faction, in particular.  It’s important that I reiterate that nothing I say herein is meant as an attack on true Christians or on Republicans.  In fact, I had an opportunity to exchange thoughts with one who did take offense to what I was saying, and it turned out that his philosophy really isn’t that different than my own.  Let’s say we’re on opposite sides of the aisle, perhaps, but we’re both occupying close enough to the aisle that we can see and speak to each other.  What I am trying to get get across, however, and will continue to try to get across, is the amount of pure hatred, vile intolerance, and in some cases, suggestions of violence is coming from that far-right extremist faction who disguise themselves as Christians to mask their bitter hatred.  Watching the video will say more than I can ever say here.

This guy, Steven Anderson, is no stranger to the national spotlight.  As soon as I saw the name, I knew who he was.  As is evident in this video, I think it’s fair to say that Mr. Anderson spends more time “preaching” hate than he does spreading the word of God.  And, forget about him spreading love.  Thanks not on his agenda.  In 2009, he had this to say:

The same God who instituted the death penalty for murders is the same god who instituted the death penalty for rapists and for homosexuals, sodomites and queers!

That’s what it was instituted for, okay? That’s God, he hasn’t changed. Oh, God doesn’t feel that way in the New Testament … God never “felt” anything about it, he commanded it and said they should be taken out and killed.
You know why God wanted the sodomites in the Old Testament to be killed? You know why every good king of Israel, the Bible says they got rid of the sodomites in the land? You know, the good kings that came after the bad kings who had allowed the sodomites to infest their land, they had infiltrated … King Asa got the sodomites out of the land, Jehoshaphat exterminated the sodomites that were left from the days of his father, Asa. Why? Because the sodomites are infectious, that’s why. Because they’re not reproducers, that goes without saying, they’re recruiters.
How are they multiplying? Do you not see that they’re multiplying? Are you that blind? Have you noticed that there’s more than there were last year and the year before, and the year before that? How are they multiplying? They’re reproducing right? No, here’s a biology lesson: they’re not reproducers, they’re recruiters! And you know who they’re after? Your children. Remember you dropped off your kids last week? That’s who they’re after. You drop them off at some daycare, you drop them off at some school somewhere, you don’t know where they’re at. I’ll tell you where they’re at: they’re being recruited by the sodomites. They’re being molested by the sodomites. I can tell you so many stories about people that I know being molested and recruited by the sodomites.
They recruit through rape. They recruit through molestation. They recruit through violation. They are infecting our society. They are spreading their disease. It’s not a physical disease, it’s a sin disease, it’s a wicked, filthy sin disease and it’s spreading on a rampage. Can’t you see that it’s spreading on a rampage? I mean, can you not see that? Can you not see that it’s just exploding in growth? Why? Because each sodomite recruits far more than one other sodomite because his whole life is about recruiting other sodomites, his whole life is about violating and hurting people and molesting ’em.

You read that right:  this man, this “pastor” was advocating the murder of members of the LGBT community.  How is that even legal!?  Hate speech should never, ever be confused with free speech.  And, what comes through in the video, and in the malicious diatribe from 2009 is pure hate speech.

Bitter, violence-laden hate speak.  The kind that’s leading to many of the LGBT teen suicides.

Bitter, violence-laden hate speak.  The kind that leads the mindless to have ideations of shooting  the leader of our country.

The punchline: the guy who is advocating the wholesale slaughter of homosexuals also says Obama is just like Adolf Hitler. You can’t make this stuff up; no one would believe it. And by the way, the guy who showed up at an Obama rally with an assault rifle? This is his pastor.

Get the picture?  People of this mentality are dangerous.  Plain and simple.  And, understanding that “they” are the driving force behind the opposition of equal rights is a somber, sobering reality.  I mean, even good ol’ Fred isn’t this bad.  He’s just…simple.

Satire Mirrors Reality

I got caught up in the moment.  Guilty as charged.  Yesterday, someone posted a link to the facebook blog page that caused a whole lot of controversy.  It was titled Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong.  Ok, I took the bait.  I read a little of it and became irate at what I was reading.  But, I shied away from writing about it because it didn’t pertain to either teen suicide or bullying.  Then, I read the line that broke to camel’s back.  THEN, I wrote about it.  And, then I found out that the whole thing was a satire.  A spoof.  And, upon closer examination, and with a much calmer mind, I was able to see the satirical angle to it. (I’m just happy that only 10 people read the blog post before I pulled it down!!)

The question that begs to be answered, though, is what exactly was it about that piece of satire that triggered such ire and from so many people, including myself?  Well, the answer is easy.  The piece echoed the diabolical diatribe that we’ve been hearing for far too long from the very people the satire was directed against:  the “fundamentalist Christians”.  And, it goes deeper than that.  It showed just how fed up we are, as a collective whole, of hearing their unbridled ignorance.  For me, personally, when I read the line “A normal child should be harassing and teasing gay kids and calling them “faggots”, not trying to be friends with them or enable their lifestyle”, my anger shifted into overdrive.  And, for good reason.  That mentality really IS pervasive amongst those who give true believers of God a bad name.

We must not lose sight of the fact that there really ARE so-called Christians who really do espouse that very same mentality.  There are politicians trying to pass laws that would sanction the bullying of LGBT teens.  And, as we saw in Anoka-Hennepin, the combination of religious and political “leaders” who share the same narrow-minded, hate-filled intolerance towards the LGBT community has a devastating effect on LGBT teens.

In hindsight, that piece of satire was actually brilliantly done.  It was almost TOO well done, actually.  Obviously, it struck a nerve.  It mirrored the reality that we face today in a society that still, in 2012, has people filled with hatred and intolerance.  Not only are they filled with hatred and intolerance, they are more than willing to spread their ignorance as “truth” in accordance to God.  When satire mirrors reality that closely, sparks fly.

Passing the Torch

In any war, the battle is essentially being fought for the generations to follow:  for our children.  And, their children.  Warriors lay their lives on the line so that their kids, their kids kids, can have a better, safer, happier life.  The “warriors” of Stonewall fought for their “kids”, the generation of young LGBT kids coming behind them.  And, behind them.  I’m so glad they did.  See, I’m part of the generation they were fighting for.

I remember Stonewall being in the news.  I was 12.  I knew, instinctively, that what was going on in the newspaper (life before the Internet was vastly different!) was good.  By that time in my life, I was fully aware that I was a gay teen and had already had my first boyfriend.  Seeing them lay their lives on the line against an establishment that hated them touched me in an indescribable place.  I knew.

The war we’re fighting today is for the liberty, justice, and equality for our LGBT youth of today.  We’re fighting for their freedom to live happily without a government or religious body that sanctions their being attacked, both emotionally and physically.  We’re fighting for their freedom to marry the one they love, just as their straight counterparts will do.  We’re fighting for equality, for ourselves as well as for them.

And, we’re passing the torch.

Because of the Internet, there’s a “right-now-ness” that we didn’t have in generations gone by.  We can, and do, connect with people all around this massive globe at the click of the “send” button.  And, as a result, there’s a movement going on right now that is going to change the world as we know it.  A paradigm shift.  Yes, we the children of Stonewall are paving the way.  However, the torch is also being passed to some very strong, very dedicated young leaders.  And, they need to be recognized for the work they’re doing:

• Christi O’Connor contacted me about a month ago about the Monster March Against Bullying.  The goal is for at least 10,000 LGBT teens to march to the step of San Francisco’s City Hall in an effort to compel their leaders that “It HAS TO Get Better”.  The Rodemeyers will be there.  Jonah Mowry and his family will be there.  That’s powerful stuff.  And, all of this was organized by TEENS!!  On her wall, Christi posted this:

“Hi Everyone.The good news is we have more wonderful content, new partners and teens’ videos we hadn’t anticipated this week. The down news is it has delayed our launch of our www.themonstermarch.com site until MONDAY. We’ll remind everyone to go to it Monday. So sorry for the delay. Big announcements coming on the site!”

The official website goes up on Monday.  Looking forward to checking that out.  Looking forward even more to October and their Monster March!!

• While not at teen, at 23, Mark Blane is still young enough to be considered part of the youth movement.  This very talented director/playwright/activist is putting his best effort into making a difference.  On June 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, the play, which Mark wrote and directed, “The Rock and The Ripe” will go into production in Chicago.  The play is about “the bullied and bruised Gay Youth of America”.  There’s also a book by the same title.  But, most importantly, Mark has a fundraiser page in place in an attempt to take this provocative and important play national.  This very compelling video makes you understand what’s at stake.

• And, then there’s 18-year-old Brett Simpson.  I had seen this video response floating around for a while but, quite frankly, didn’t watch it because I’d grown weary of the “flash-card messages”.  Eventually, of course, I gave in and watched it. (it kept popping up here and there, so I figured there had to be something to it.  I was right.)  Watching that video changed my life.  Here was this handsome 18-year-old who, himself, had been badly bullied!, reaching out to other teens who were in crisis!  He opened his life to the world of LGBT teens, giving almost all of his personal information, and told them “I’m always here for you”.  That, alone, made my eyes water.  Refusing to be “the victim”, Brett instead stood strong and reached out.  And, the teens have been responding!!!  As an example, this message was just posted to his wall:  Zachary Smith: “Brett, this is amazing. I know you can do great things for the future of this country. It would be wonderful to meet you someday. Also, make sure you save this somewhere, because coming from someone who wrote something similar about a long battle with learning disabilities, personal written pieces such as this one are very appealing to higher learning institutions, if that’s what you plan on doing in the future.”  He has quite a following in his facebook community, Click “Like” if You Support the LGBT Questioning Community.  I’ve been so impressed with the work Brett’s doing, I made him an administrator on my facebook blog page.  And, he’s done great there, as well.

• As a testimony to the impact Brett is having on the young, up-and-coming LGBT teens, this video was made by a 14-year-old LGBT youth named John.  The video is stunning, to say the least.  And, to think that a 14-year-old produced it just warms the heart.  The message is clear and, coming from someone who is in the age group most affected by the bullying against LGBT teens in this country, and around the world!, it’s extremely powerful.  If the readers of this blog post click no other link herein, do check out this video.

Obviously, there are more teens around who are doing some great things, like Daria, Amber, and Alexis in Indiana who have their own anti-bullying page.  And, they’re only in middle school!!!  I could probably dedicate an entire week, at least!, recognizing the efforts being undertaken by our youth, gay and straight alike, as they take matters into their own hands in attempt to make their world a better place.  This is just a few of them.

The world truly is changing, right before our eyes.  And, it’s changing for the better.  Most importantly, the youth-led movement is really getting traction and making a difference.  It makes us older warriors feel good to know that the torch is being passed to such capable hands.

Dharun Ravi Convicted of Hate Crime in Tyler Clementi’s Death

This verdict is in: Dharun Ravi, GUILTY of hate crime in the Tyler Clementi case. This arrogant young man had a chance to plea out to a lesser charge, one that would’ve assured him no jail time, late last year but opted, instead, to take it to trial. Foolish mistake. Instead, Mr. Ravi was found guilty on all 15 charges against him. Sentencing is to come, and he’s looking at years. Tyler Clementi’s family was sentenced to life without him on September 22, 2010 because of Dharun Ravi’s actions. He gets off easy.

As 18-year-old first-year students at the prestigious Rutgers University, Ravi and Clementi ended up being roommates. Tyler had just come out to his family as being gay before he left for college. Once at school, and as Ravi’s roommate, he met with a man with whom he’d apparently started becoming intimate with. Dharun Ravi decided it would be cool to secretly set up a webcam and broadcast Tyler and his partner during their intimacy on his Twitter account. As a result, Tyler Clementi committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. The case made national, international!, headlines. It was also one of a flurry of LGBT teen suicides in September 2010 that included Seth Walsh and Asher Brown.

Dharun Ravi, incredibly, was offered a plea bargain December of last year that would’ve all but set him free. He would’ve received no jail time and would’ve been able to remain in this country. He declined. He wanted to argue his case. He lost. And, now, he’s facing prison time as well as deportation.

In my own opinion, the question that isn’t being explored is why was he offered a plea deal in the first place? Why was the State of New Jersey willing to offer this man much lesser charges with no consequences when his actions led directly to the suicide death of Tyler Clementi? To me, that’s almost as troublesome as Ravi’s actions. Luckily, he had the misguided notion that he could win if only he was able to have his day in court to present “his side” of the story.

“His side” of the story is irrelevant. A jury told him that today. Tyler Clementi is gone forever because of Dharun’s actions. Let’s hope that this very high-profile case of homophobic bullying, it’s tragic results, and now the consequences for the perpetrator sends a message to those who think that bullying is cool or acceptable: there will be consequences for your actions.

The Clementis suffer the consequences of your actions every single day of their lives, Mr. Ravi. Now, so will you.

The Rock & The Ripe

I just spent a couple hours going over this project.  Going over this project, familiarizing myself with it, caused me to go back and review some of the videos and stories about people like Phillip Parker, Jamey Rodemeyer, Ashlynn Conner, Seth Walsh, Jamie Hubley.  The list is sickeningly long.  Then, I cried.  With every different face I saw, I cried.  Then, I got mad.

I watched videos that reminded me just how important this all is because there are actually people, and I mean high-profile people, working just as hard to minimize or even eradicate everything we’re doing.  To them, bullying isn’t a problem; LGBT teens shouldn’t have “special protection”; LGBT teens bring their problems on themselves by being out.  Thank the God of your understanding that we outnumber them.

I named this blog Enough is Enough for a very specific and obvious reason.  Our society has been plagued long enough by narrow-mindedness, ruled too long by a “moral majority” (which , by the way, they’re neither) who feel that everyone should live by THEIR standards or be damned.  And, in the cross hairs are struggling, emotionally fragile LGBT teens.  And, the result is far too often…suicide.  Enough TRULY is enough.

In watching the video promoting The Rock & The Ripe, one segment stopped me in my tracks.  I watched it repeatedly.

So, don’t be f*cking shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and are driving them to kill themselves because they’re different.  They learned it from watching you.

That’s directed at every politician who continues to attempt to pass legislation that minimizes LGBT teens; that’s directed at every teacher who turns a blind eye at the bullying of an LGBT teen; that’s directed at every parent who speaks hatred and intolerance around their own children, ESPECIALLY if they have LGBT kids.

Watching those videos got me angry.

Mark Blane is 23-year-old gay man who was bullied unmerciful as a teen.  He is also a very talented director and playwright.  He is inspired and inspiring.  He’s assembled, in his words, “…an incredible network of artists, actors, and activists…” in his effort to “…expose the secrets and real issues behind gay [teen] bullying in America.”

“The Rock & The Ripe” the play, is set for production in Chicago June 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.  Mark’s ambition is to get the funding to take it nationwide.  He’s going to need massive help in doing so.

“The Rock & The Ripe”, the book, goes into deeper detail.

The book will be a dissection of how this process and project came to be, the atrocious facts and stories of anti-gay bullying from across the country, information commemorating the lives of 14-year-old Phillip Parker, 14-year-old Rafael Morelos, and many others. Direct quotes from phone-calls, in-person interviews in communities across the country that are affected by homophobia, ignorance, careless town officials, and unsympathetic and uneducated (ironically) school administrations. This book will be PACKED with photography, research, plus insight into the the minds of the actors/activists.

Enough really is enough.  Our numbers are growing around the world, and our voices are being heard.  People young and old, black and white, gay and straight, and everywhere in between, are standing up and saying enough is enough!!!  And, we are making a difference. The reality of it is we’re going to have to create the change we’re seeking.  The politicians won’t do it.  The educators won’t do it.  And, too many parents won’t do it.  WE are the ones who will make the difference at the end of the day.  Mark is doing his part at trying to make a differnce.  He needs help getting his project up and running.

He’s created a Kickstarter page for people to contribute as little as $5 towards getting his story out.  If you’re unfamiliar with how Kickstarter works, it’s an all-or-nothing proposition.  Anyone can contribute.  There’s a set target amount.  Anything at or above that amount, Mark gets for his project.  However, if that number isn’t met, he – and, the project – gets nothing.

It’s a story that must get out!!!

Is There Such Thing as TOO MUCH Emphasis on Teen Suicide?

Incredible question, right?  Yet, I was recently told just that.  Actually, on one of the social networking pages that I was running, I was booted by the original owner of the page because I was putting too much emphasis on LGBT teen suicides.  TOO MUCH EMPHASIS!?

Research shows, clearly, that LGBT youth attempt suicide up to 4 times as often as their hetero counterparts.  We witness all-too-often another LGBT teen suicide in the news.  That says that there isn’t ENOUGH emphasis being put on the matter.

(as a side note, I was told by the owner of the page that “I’m all for gay-related issues…I have lots of gay friends.”  That’s akin, in my mind, to the old catch phrase “hey, I’m not racist.  I’ve got a black friend.”)

Just in the past month, we’ve seen in the news how certain politicians are attempting to pass bills that would make life even more difficult for LGBT students.  Stacey Campfield, (R) Tennessee, is determined to get his “Don’t Say Gay” bill passed in a district that already has an anti-bullying law in place that excludes discrimination because of sexual orientation.  The teen, and primarily LGBT teen suicide rate in Michele Bachmann’s district got so bad, a national publication thankfully ran a must-read article about it.  There are jurisdictions in this country that are still attempting to pass bills that would sanction the bullying of LGBT teens by adding the language that would permit the bullying if it’s done for “religious, philosophical, or political beliefs.”  That’s amazing in this day and age.  And, I can’t put enough emphasis on the issue of LGBT teen bullying and suicides.

To be fair and see things through her eyes, the owner of the page I was running points out that there’s many different forms of bullying:  bullying in the workplace and domestic violence.  That’s very true.  There IS an issue of bullying in the workplace.  And, domestic violence is very much a serious issue.  Bullying on all levels needs to be addressed.  We have a tendency to be a very mean-spirited people.  My only point, which I stand by, was that mixing all of them together in one place would be awkward, at best.  A community for ending domestic violence?  I’m on board.  Bullying in the workplace?  Sign me up.  Teen, and especially LGBT teen bullying and suicide.  I will die on the front line of that battle.  What rattled me, and rattles me still, was being told that I was putting too much emphasis on the issue.  There’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny; there’s no such thing as the Tooth Fairy; there’s no such thing as too much emphasis on LGBT bullying and suicides.